The summer holidays can feel like they arrive with a script already written. Endless images of perfect family gatherings, backyard barbecues filled with laughter, and beach days with loved ones flood our screens and shopping centres. But for many people, this time of year doesn’t match the glossy picture we’re sold. Whether you’re spending it alone, navigating difficult family dynamics, managing estrangement, or carrying painful memories from Christmases past, the pressure to feel joyful can make everything harder.
If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with finding this period challenging. The good news? You get to decide what this season looks like for you.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel
First things first: whatever you’re feeling is valid. Sadness, anxiety, relief, ambivalence, or even anger about the festive season are all legitimate responses. You don’t need to force cheerfulness or pretend everything is fine. Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is acknowledge that this time is hard and be gentle with ourselves about it.
There’s No Right Way to Spend This Time
Here’s a truth that bears repeating: there is no rulebook for how you should spend Christmas and New Year. Despite what the advertisements suggest, you don’t need to be surrounded by family, you don’t need to cook an elaborate meal, and you don’t need to celebrate at all if you don’t want to. You might choose to work, volunteer, travel, stay home in your pyjamas, or treat it like any other day. All of these are perfectly acceptable choices.
The magic happens when you stop trying to meet external expectations and start asking yourself what would genuinely feel good or manageable for you.
Create Traditions That Honour You
This is your opportunity to design traditions that reflect who you are and what brings you comfort or joy. Perhaps that means a solo day trip to somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit. Maybe it’s a movie marathon of your favourite films, a long walk along the coast at sunrise, or finally reading that book you’ve been putting off. You might cook your favourite meal (even if it’s nowhere near traditional), spend the day creating art, or simply rest.
Some people find meaning in establishing new rituals: writing a letter to their future self, going for a swim at their favourite beach, or setting intentions for the year ahead. Others find comfort in small acts of kindness, whether that’s checking in on a friend who might also be struggling, or volunteering with a local organisation.
The point is to choose activities that feel authentic to you, not what you think you should be doing.
Practical Strategies for Getting Through
Plan ahead but stay flexible. If you know certain days will be particularly difficult, think about what might help. This could mean arranging to catch up with a friend, booking yourself into a cinema session, or ensuring you have a project or activity to focus on.
Limit social media if it’s making you feel worse. The curated highlight reels of other people’s celebrations rarely tell the full story, and comparison will only amplify difficult feelings.
Reach out for support when you need it. Whether that’s calling a friend, contacting a helpline like Lifeline (13 11 14), or speaking with a therapist, you don’t have to navigate this alone.
Looking Forward
As this period draws to a close and a new year begins, remember that you’ve made it through. That alone is worth acknowledging. You’ve survived by doing things your way, and that’s something to carry forward. The festive season doesn’t define your worth, your relationships, or your future.
However you spend this time, may you find moments of peace, pockets of comfort, and the freedom to honour exactly where you are.
