If there was a secret key to improving absolutely every aspect of your life, would you want to know about it? Would it be worth cultivating? 

While that might sound dramatic, in my experience, loving yourself, totally, fully and unconditionally is the absolute best thing you can do for your health, happiness, relationships, career and flow of abudance in life.

Loving yourself isn’t vain or arrogant. It’s healthy and natural, but for complex reasons so many people end up feeling unworthy, ashamed and not good enough. It’s like there are invisible standards within your own mind that you can never quite attain. 

So how can this be overcome? Is it possible to love yourself deeply even though you are a flawed human being? 

Yes! 

Accepting your humanity and making space for imperfection is the very essence of love. Being there for yourself when you fall short of your own expectations is the relief you have been waiting for. The validation you have sought outside of yourself, through other people’s opinions, attention, achievements and so on, is really found by developing a secure and healthy relationship with yourself.  

So how do you love yourself? 

Self love is a journey. Don’t be so hard on yourself! Here are a few guidelines to practice:

• Become aware of how you talk to yourself in your own mind. How can you expect to feel good about yourself when you are full of self criticism and doubt? Make a conscious decision to stop this. Replace criticism with the the thought: “I am human and I’m doing my best. I am enough.” Recognise that underneath it all, your intentions are positive. 

• Understand that all the conditions you have placed on yourself to be considered lovable are arbitrary. There is no objective standard you need to obtain to become “good enough”. You are enough by virtue of being alive. 

• Act in ways you are proud of. When you live in alignment with your values and focus on what is important to you, it is much easier to love and respect yourself. 

• Remember that comparison is the thief of joy. You are not in competition with anyone else. Your life is yours to live and your path is unique to you. Problems and challenges are a natural part of life and if viewed as such, are opportunities to grow, learn and transcend. 

• Perfection is a lie. You don’t need to be perfect to be loved. Your quirks and flaws can be endearing and are a part of your life’s journey. You can appreciate your uniqueness while still striving to improve or change your circumstances. 

• Be grateful. Do you take time to notice your strengths and the aspects of your life you are happy with and proud of?  Being overly focused on the negative can skew your perception of yourself, and create feelings of inadequacy. Showing gratitude and appreciation amplifies these feelings within you and ultimately creates more things to be grateful for and appreciative of. 

• Self love is a decision. At the end of the day, no one but you can decide how you feel about yourself. If you are sick of feeling not good enough, change begins with the simple decision that you are willing to stand up for yourself and believe in your own worthiness. You deserve to feel good about yourself. 

Make loving yourself a priority in your life (expect that there will be bumps along the way) and you will be amazed at the miracles that unfold.