One of the most common reasons people seek therapy of any kind, is that they get sick and tired of repeating the same mistakes over and over again! Or finding themselves in the same life circumstances over and over again! It may be with different people in different places, but the underlying dynamic is basically the same.
Why does this happen? Put simply, if you are repeating past painful events, it’s because you haven’t yet be able to recognise or heal the parts inside of yourself, that keep re-creating those same dynamics.
This mostly happens at a subconscious level. However your subconscious mind was wired all those years ago, determines what feels normal for you, based on what you have come to believe to be true about yourself, other people, and how the world works. So, for example, being undervalued can feel normal, being ignored can feel normal, being excluded can feel normal. This is how we can keep finding ourselves in painful or undesirable situations – at a subconscious level it aligns with what you currently believe about yourself.
To change these patterns, you need to address the underlying beliefs that support them. Until you become conscious of what those old programs are, and when they have become activated, change will seem difficult.
How can you begin to change your subconscious beliefs?
A good place to start is to ask yourself, who would I need to be, to not have this problem anymore? What would I need to believe about myself to not have this problem anymore? This exercise will help you see clearly the gap between where you are, and where you need to be. You can then more easily identify the beliefs you need to cultivate or let go of, to get a different outcome. Once you have more clarity, it’s easier to make different, more conscious choices.
If you would like some help unpacking your own subconscious programming and to learn how to stop repeating the past, please feel free to reach out for a session.
Wishing you all the best,
Alarna x
